Really wish I was better at finishing things. Over time I’ve learned to accept that while my intentions are always genuine, I often lose it on the follow through. My unfinished novel, guitar lessons, karate, and this website are only a few of the projects and self-improvement goals that end up on the proverbial shelf. As I kid, I played softball one season, basketball one season, took a total of 2 tennis lessons, and quit playing golf at the age of 11, only a year or two after my first lesson.
When it comes to this particular character flaw, its known existence has made no difference in the ability to overcome it. I think some of the times I may have given up too quickly occurred because of fear of failure…if I couldn’t master it right away, there it goes! Sometimes I just got sidetracked by life and other things that were going on like raising kids and keeping the bills paid. And lastly, I must admit that at least a couple of times it was because I was bored or simply lost interest.
Don’t misunderstand, I’m not a quitter. I successfully earned my M.A., and I do have skills that I have mastered. I’m not a complete loser.
Of all the things that I have struggled with, the writing thing has always been the most challenging. They say that if you want to be a writer, you have to write. Once I get started, the words usually flow fairly easily, but there are a lot of days in between where I just don’t do it. Just recently, I quit my job writing for a website that required an article every day, because I wanted to free up more of that time for my own personal writing. Guess how much writing I have done since then…
As I’m sitting here writing this now, it seems very natural and even fun. Blogs are easier than stories because you just sit down and empty your brain of its clutter, whatever happens to be on your mind at the moment. It’s cathartic. It’s relaxing. Like when girls like me used to keep track of the cutest boys smiling at us and who is ticking you off at the time in our personal journals. Although it’s not quite the same, because when you put it all out there where anyone can read it, it can be a little scary. If I put myself out there, will people like me? Will anyone even notice?
I think that might have been my problem. While I wouldn’t say that I’m a person who particularly cares what other people think, I do often write about some personal things and that can be scary. I’m pretty upfront and direct about things most of the time, but I also have a tendency to be misunderstood. Also, life happens. You go through stuff and your mood shifts. You have highs and lows, days when you are up and days when your are down. Sometimes you are bitchy and frustrated. So why put it out there? Because someone else might be feeling those very same things and need to feel like they aren’t alone. To be honest about life and the need to strive to keep looking on he “bright side.”
Thank you for reading.